College Depression - How To Deal With Losing

VictoriaJ

My Support System? Does anyone have advice on how to deal with the depression stemming from moving to college and the loss of the support system I have had for my entire life? All my life I have been told how I am going to college. There was never any questions asked. No doubt in my parents minds. It was understood. Demanded. Required.And now here I am. About to finish my first semester of college, and all I can really think about it is that I so badly want out!I do not have many friends at all here. All of my family and the people I am closest to are about an hour and a half away. Maybe that doesn't sound like far, but for someone who has hardly ever spent more than a few days away from home it is a ridiculous amount. I have tried so hard to make friends, but for some reason I just can not feel the same connection with the people at my school as I do with my friends from back home.I am not feeling any kind of academic pressure, but I feel so terribly alone. I know that I can not drop out or go to a community college. That is unacceptable for my parents.

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laylod4

Sounds like a lot going on there. As someone finishing up in University and going to school in Texas away from all my friends and family in California I can completely relate. College was really tough at first, but it gets better. I got a job on campus and started joining a lot of clubs I really liked in high school or always wanted to join but that weren't offered in my small hometown. When you start doing things you love you'll find like-minded people. Are you religious? - Religious groups offer like minded people that you can relate to in many aspects of your life. Do you play a sport? An instrument? Those are starts and often take a lot of time and patience and you meet people who have a love and a knack for something that you do. It usually leads to invites to events, concerts and tournaments... Hang tough and just give it a shot. Of course the best thing is also to keep a line open with your family and friends back home. I'm sure they're missing you as much if not more than you're missing them. If you keep a consistent time that you call they're likely to make an appointment time and I'm sure they'd be happier doing that than having you leave such a great opportunity for your future.

Esq.

Freshman year is tough, especially the first semester. YOU ARE NORMAL!You need to share with your parents that you are feeling very alone, and depressed as a result. They need to know this ! Especially so that they can support you, with more frequent phone calls, email, text, cards and CARE packages (homemade cookies, brownies, etc) !!!! That's what parents should be doing that first semester !!!LOL !!! Tell them to get off the dime and mail some cookies pronto ! However, after a while you'll be so annoyed with them you won't even think about leaving school.Also, consider getting to the college counseling office, there are trained people there who can offer support and ideas for you going forward.Have you considered joining a club or activity that interests you ? Often that is a good place to find people of "like minds" that can share interests. Do get involved in something that is just for fun, makes you happy, so that you don't have 100% bookwork nonstop. I sang in choir in college, some people do band, some do theatre work (you can volunteer for acting, cast or behind the scenes--makeup, tech, set, etc.) I also joined a bible study/church study group--the pastor of my denomination at the local church had meetings at the campus.I often felt alone in college especially the first semester. A duck out of water. But that is common. I started hangin out with people from my dorm floor, we hit happy hour once a week. Just go and socialize for awhile, be sure not to walk home alone. Meeting people for pizza or for lunch off campus is fun too.You may need to schedule more home visits on the weekends, say once a month, so that you don't feel so much pressure while away -- like it's a huge time span before you get to go home again. Or maybe not, like toughing it out. Find what works for you.Also, I would stay in touch with any of your friends from home who have gone off to school, you need to share your feelings with them. Chances are they are in the same boat. Did you get together with them over Thanksgiving holiday ? Did you go and hang out with kids from high school? No doubt that was weird too, as they have all moved on with their lives. You're still "grieving " that loss and moving on. But ya gotta do it !In college, you have so much to do to study and prepare for assignments, quizzes, exams, it's crazy ! Especially if you're going for "perfect" GPA. But, part of learning at a college is to interact and learn to deal with others, future employers will look for this. Good luck, will be praying for you , you'll make it !!!!PS I liked the advice about physical activity. Yeah, do some. Also consider tanning, the light helps the mood.